News has recently broken that Chris Evans will be the new host of BBC’s Top Gear and will be holding open auditions to find the rest of his presenting team. Kata and I would like to put forward the following application to be the personalities he is looking for by describing the Top Gear Challenge that we set ourselves while on holiday in Mallorca.
We attempted to walk to walk from our hotel in Soller, to the picturesque town of Deia. We had to abort the attempt just under half way as it turned out that walking through the mountains of Mallorca in 30 degree heat while almost 6 months pregnant is ill advised. Who knew? Still keen to go visit Deia, we decided the next day that Kata would take the bus to Deia, and I would run there and we would meet about 12:30. Well…Kata then suggested we make it a race and I said that it sounded like a Top Gear Challenge. The rest of the idea thought itself up. We chose a finishing point, the church on a hill overlooking the village.
11am and I have a 1hr head start.
Kata would catch the 12:05 bus that was scheduled to arrive in Deia at 12:25. At 11am I took the Son Castelló Path from Soller to Deia and set off at a brisk jog into the already 26 Celsius heat to attempt to beat that bus. I wasn’t sure of the distance I had to run but the owner of our hotel said it was “at least 12km”. I knew from the walk the previous day that the first 4km was all uphill on very rocky terrain. The uphill finished at a restaurant (of sorts) called Son Mico and this is where we stopped for coffee and cake the day before and then decided to turn back. It had looked as if Son Mico marked the end of the difficult, uphill terrain and I hoped that would be the case.
Typical terrain
Nice views along the way
I reached Son Mico (3.76km) in 27 mins. Yesterday it had taken us 1hr 43mins to reach this point so I was doing well. I sent my first update to Kata and confidently (arrogantly?) predicted that she should “get an earlier bus”. It wasn’t much longer before I reached another sign telling me that it was 40mins to Deia and 1hr 35mins back to Soller where I had started only 40 mins ago. This was too easy! Worst Top Gear Challenge ever!!! I was wondering what I would do to kill time in Deia while waiting for Kata to arrive. It was another 20 mins before Kata actually boarded the bus and I was already a 60 minute WALK away from the finish.
1h 35min? Ha! As if!
But Kata is leaving the hotel...
However, as with the best Top Gear challenges, there was a twist in the tale. Some jeopardy to make the story more interesting, and the victory more sweet. Basically, I got lost. A few times. Even one time when I wasn’t lost I thought I must be and retraced my steps to make sure I hadn’t missed a turning. The signage did deteriorate and get more sporadic in the last 5km and there were AT LEAST two occasions where I reached a fork in the road with no indication of which way to go and naturally I chose the wrong way. I’m afraid to say that I did get a bit annoyed at one point and also a bit fed up with running down dead ends and around in circles. The first cross roads I reached brought me out of the woods and onto a road, as in a road for cars. I updated Kata on my progress and this obstacle, and she told me that she was on her way. Now it was starting to get interesting! After deciding to run downhill, I reached a busy main road with no indication of whether I should run along the road or across it. I searched across it on the other side but couldn’t see a path so ran along it for a bit. It was frankly dangerous. No pavement, a windy road, chances of getting run over on a blind corner quite high. I thought that this couldn’t possibly be right and retraced my steps all the way back to the woods. Seeing a post with screw holes on it where there had clearly once been a sign, I decided that this must have been the right way after all and with not a lot of confidence headed back to The Road of Death. Finally I found another sign pointing to a trail off the road which was a relief in two ways; 1 – I was going the right way, 2 – I could get off this awful road.
Oh there's a wee blue warning sign. Thank God!
But Kata is at the bus stop, hot on my tail, and I am assured that she is fully clothed.
A bit further on I reached another fork in the road with literally no indication of which way to go. I guessed wrong and ran down a steep hill where I found the beautiful Cala Deia where we would eat our lunch later. I later discovered that I could have ran down to Cala Deia and then picked up another path leading to Deia, but without the benefit of this knowledge I ran back up the steep hill to reach the fork in the road and go the other way. Annoying. Seriously.
So......which way?
Not this way. Cala Deia. It's good but it's not right.
Finally, after another couple of minor deviations from the correct path, I reached Deia at 12:28 to find a map (hallelujah!) with no ‘You Are Here’ marker (aaarrghh!!!). I ran around for a bit more before giving in and breaking out the iPhone and Google Maps. Kata texted at 12:34 to let me know she had arrived in Deia. Oh no! Looks like I was beaten as I was still about 1km from the church which was at the top of a very big hill. I ran up the hill half heartedly, already mentally beaten, exhausted and shirt saturated with sweat. I paused on the stairs to take a photo to document the last leg and plodded the rest of the way to the top where I found Kata smugly sitting on the wall waiting for me. Turns out she had arrived there and had had been waiting for me for a whole 5 SECONDS!!!! :-D There is a lesson to be learned here I am sure about running the race to the end. Ah well, Kata had got a bit lost as well and had to find her way to the church from the bus stop so fair’s fair.
Kata attempted to slow me down by sending me texts during my run which I had to stop to read, but in fairness one of those texts was a helpful map.
We have been back from Mallorca for 3 days now and Kata still reminds me of her victory at any opportunity. I don’t really mind, the run was great and if I ran it again I would know where to go and I would be able to relax, and be able to knock about 15 mins and 2km off the route!
The route. 10km? I ran 12km. Oops!
The best Top Gear Challenges are close affairs and this is how it proved for us. If Mr Evans needs my phone number or further evidence of our suitability to present, then I can be contacted via the Comments link below.
Defeated by a pregnant woman in flip flops.
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